Ned / Eng
M WITH AND WITHOUT
Text about dealing with wearing a headscarf as a tourist in Iran during an art adacemy trip, published in Heartbeat Iran (robstolk/Gerrit Rietveld Academie, 2010).
M with and without
M has short hair and generally wears black clothes. M is a classic non-conformist. Very left-wing (like most of the art world) and mercilessly critical (a rare thing in any time or place). Nothing about M is explicitly masculine or feminine. But M does have a very unusual fringe. Cut with a Mickey Mouse-like peak in the middle of her forehead, pointing downwards.
One of the numerous advantages of group travel is the extra pleasure and insight afforded by the observation of one’s fellow-travellers. With regard to the trip to Iran I was particularly looking forward in that respect to the question of the headscarf, under which a large section of the more than averagely emancipated and cultured travellers would be hidden. Including myself. And including M .
I could dwell for hours on all the predictable and unpredictable effects of the headscarf on various Dutch heads. On the catharsis unleashed by the exposure of the covered head in hotel rooms or during scarce moments in liberal society. On the outward transformations brought about by the headscarf: it endowed one woman with extra femininity, made another conversely more masculine, a third prettier, a fourth years older. A fifth surprisingly proved to have no trouble at all in passing for an Iranian woman, as soon as she had her headscarf on. The influence of the headscarf on the behaviour, visibility and noise level of the female part of the group also gave much food for thought.
Most women in the group had resigned themselves in advance to the necessary evil, and approached the logistics of the veil in a pragmatic way. Some of them resolved to assess the fashion situation as soon as they arrived, and to rush straight to the shops so they could go undercover in style. I also heard about resolutions to get advice on the technical side of things as soon as they reached their destination, in order to combine sustainability, elegance and comfort in the practical construction.
In short, almost all of the women tried to make something of it in their own way. People sought for opportunities within the presumed permissible margin to bring the personality hidden under the headscarf to the fore, by means of colour, fabric and pattern. By the use of make-up, earrings and sophisticated sunglasses, for example, a few succeeded in creating a thrilling, nostalgic film star look. M too tried to interpret the obligation of the headscarf in a fitting way. A difficult task, for M generally had little time for imposed choices and other people’s version of the truth. Very likely, because of her somewhat contrary views and androgynous appearance even by western standards, she had an extraordinary amount of experience in compromising with and circumventing social expectations. But how do you transpose a basic attitude of resistance from west to east? How does a left-wing feminist wear a headscarf?
Although many women in our party may have tried to put something subtly subversive into their textile translations of their own identity, no-one apart from M dared outright provocation. But in line with a section of the more rebellious, or perhaps primarily youthful, Iranian women, the practical constructions were often far from stable. Most headscarves were draped lightly over the head and waved perilously loosely with every gust of wind or movement. This apparently nonchalant headgear thus proved to be pretty stressful and complex. Although in the process one learned about the risks of moving too exuberantly and gradually perfected the art of the restrained stride, continually adusting and readjusting all the while, there were naturally a number of more practical women who preferred to fix the whole thing firmly into place with pins and other aids. They put up with itching, chafing and a respectable appearance.
M however found a solution all her own. She managed to develop a sex mutation system as simple as it was ingenious, and to become a gender chameleon. M’s habitual garb of nondescript dark shirts and trousers, her rather neutral figure and short hair provided favourable conditions for experiment. The only terrain on which the Iranian social obligation of sexual identification could impose itself was in fact the crown of M’s head. M exploited the convenience of this situation to the full, and this physical territory in which the political became so personal was used more than any other for challenging research. It was magnificent and marvellous: sometimes M was a man, sometimes a woman. And thus of course M remained M With a minimal conjuring trick she revealed the emperor’s-new-clothes aspect of the symbolic separation of the sexes via the headscarf. With: woman. Without: man.
M even found a cunning solution for her female guise, which would give the alert observer something to think about. To wit, she preferred not to wear a loose headscarf, but wore the hood of her sweater up. Only when it was too warm for the sweater attached to the hood did she capitulate to the headscarf.
While M sampled the public life of men and women by turns, no doubt filled with a spy-thriller sort of tension in her male guise, feelings and opinions about M’s behaviour were germinating in the group. Widely differing opinions and mixed feelings. The women in the group especially had, as I recall, heated discussions. There was no lack of indignation and anger. The main crux of the anger was often unclear. There were accusations that M was cheating, showed too little cultural openness and respect, and was endangering the group and the trip. Others saw her experiments however as a heroic statement, a gesture of solidarity, a joke that lightened the situation, sweet revenge that reflected on all of us. M related that walking along the street with or without a head covering literally made a world of difference to the way in which passers-by treated her. As a man she found it easier to make eye-contact with men, as a woman with other women.
I hope that she put her experiences on record, or that she will use them for something or other, and that I shall hear more about it. I myself, in my half-hearted search for a covering with a bit of go and an air of recalcitrance about it, got no further than doubling the amount of headgear by having a sun visor sticking out from under my headscarf. By so doing I hoped not so much to flout the obligation as to rise above it by integrating it into my own construction plan.
In my view M gave a masterly demonstration of how an individual can rebel against a systeM No doubt there are Iranian girls who go about as she does, with bare, closely cropped heads and deceptive clothing. Some of them may have seen M and felt a bond with her, affirmed by her. At all events I shall never forget how M managed to put a triumphant dent in an oppressive regime by conforming as little as possible. Nor how differently every majority evidently reacts to someone who separates herself from them and strives for personal freedoM Even a majority that forms a minority within a greater majority, such as our group of highly educated, adventurous, individualistic travellers in Iran.
Translation: Jo Nesbitt